The Siddhi of "I'm Sorry"

This morning I did something that is very scary for me. I apologized. It was about some difficult communication that happened yesterday.
For me, apologizing seems like a superpower, a siddhi, a high attainment to be able to do it. When I hear other people apologizing instantly--without having to think about it, without even needing to be in the wrong--I think, "Wow, they are like superheroes."
Anyway, sometimes I am forced to apologize for my own peace of mind. I knew that in this case, I wouldn't be able to rest easy until I did it. Oh, and, also, there was the other person's feelings.
I needed to face my fear. I needed to find my courage and just go through with it, no matter how scary it might be. So I prepared my words, wrote them out. Then I did the mantras to bless one's speech. And I made an extra effort to generate divine pride--identifying with one's enlightened self-image. And then I went through the door and did it.
Fortunately for me, the other person was very gracious. He didn't bring up the issue again. (That's one of my worst fears.) He just accepted the apology and said there were no hard feelings. Whew.
When I become a buddha, may I help all suffering beings to be able to apologize with courage.

Comments

  1. JohnMarch 23, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    Good for you, Drimay. It's so difficult. Many times we let it slide out of fear until so much time passes and then you've created a major rift between between yourself and the other person. As Elton said, "Sorry seems to be the hardest word."

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